Sunday, March 7, 2010

Article Writeup: Waitress serving coke

Back in the days I used to write witty summaries of news articles and posted them on forums. Granted, many of them were taken from Fark's database of news articles thus saving me time on searches, but the writeups themselves were mine.

In other news there was a time when I was actually witty.

I decided I'd try to do that again, and see what the results would be. This is what you get.


Usually when I have to decide between butt and shoulder I'm thinking about cuts of meat to barbecue, and when I get coke from a waitress it's very reluctantly due to a lack of ginger ale or root beer syrups. However, this sexual harrassment suit is about both.

Nicole Slama was working as a waitress at an Applebee's in Manhattan on tips. As you'd expect, given Applebee's clientelle -- you know, the poor undereducated people making up "real America" that classy individuals with college educations don't fit in the salad bars alongside -- she was practically losing money on that endeavor. Looking to pay the bills she decided to take a friend's advice and work as a stripper cocktail waitress.

I don't mean to imply that she intended to work as a stripper or anything, but we all know that the back room is the sex and drug room. Or at least we do after reading the article if we're anything like me, staying home on weekend nights and blogging.

But as noted there was a distinct role-reversal and the co-owner of the bar, Gary Malhotra, was offering this waitress coke. And taking it off her butt. Naturally Slama was not interested in this. Not surprisingly she nixed doing it off her breasts as well.

Could you imagine? "Oh, no, I won't let you sniff coke off my ass! Oh yeah, go ahead, just go right off my breasts. I mean, it's not like it's illegal or inappropriately sexual if you do it off my breasts!"

In fact the only reason she had coke taken off her shoulder was that Malhotra was actually able to slide off her tank top strap. If the strap was thin enough, I probably wouldn't have bothered though as there's plenty of uncovered shoulder real-estate to play with. Then again I probably wouldn't have bothered with this in the first place because I wouldn't be reducing my waitstaff to a series of secondary sexual characteristics that serve as a conveyance for addictive substances. I'd at least find out their names, get some idea of their likes and dislikes, you know, stuff like that.

So she was on the verge of crying and he's there doing coke off his shoulder. The only reason she didn't is because she was afraid she'd anger him. I don't at all intend to imply that what she's doing is wrong, but a part of me can't help but feel the dude probably found the fact that he's being served with a sexual harassment suit far, far more infuriating. Of course, she also wasn't being forced into a closet when she did that.


As you can see, I'm rather rusty at this. I promise I'm much nicer in real life than I sound here

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