This is what I do when I'm bored

One of my friends from internet chats has a couple cats. One of them is named Kabuki and is known for having a voracious appetite and along with that a rather large girth.

She recommended before taking a nap a few minutes before posting that the two of us form a crime-fighting team. Naturally I'm reminded of those sorts of shows one sees occasionally on Sleuth from the 80s, when such duos were apparently all the rage.

The idea then, is that we have two characters, Smarty and the Fat Cat. One's a guy who uses deductive reasoning to solve problems, collecting lots of observations, trying to get them all to fit together, often finding things a lot of other people -- even trained professionals -- miss. The other's a fat cat who likes to eat lots of food.

I then proceeded to do the most important thing for any show in the 80s, and that's develop a theme song, or at least lyrics for it. This is what I came up with:

• smarty and the fat cat / when there's justice to be dished / they'll find the clues and solve some crimes / and eat a lot of fish
• smarty and the fat cat / they're some crazy dudes / they'll put the pieces all in place / and eat a lot of foods
• smarty and the fat cat / they sit down and confer / logic, reason, evidence / and happy petted purrs
• smarty and the fat cat / now I just don't know how / they solve every single mystery / with lots of cute meows
• smarty and the fat cat / their brains like grinding cogs / they'll catch all those bad guys / and stay away from dogs
• smarty and the fat cat / one's brainy, one has claws / they've got cooperation / working hand in paw
• Smarty and the fat cat / solving all those crimes / I think I'm done with singing / 'cuz I'm all out of rhymes

man am I a dork

I think I may have to develop this idea even further. No doubt their first mystery will have to be to find out where all the tuna supply in the tri-state area has vanished off to.