Monday, March 15, 2010

The PS3 Slim Ad Campaign

It only does everything.

...except play PS2 games like the early versions of the console.

...or run Linux like those same early versions.

...or process most graphics with the same level of efficiency as the Xbox 360 due to the cell processor being basically a poorly conceived integrated graphics chip (though admittedly the PS3's processor is like a mini-supercomputer).

...or play PAL-region DVDs (yes, I have some -- bootleg concert DVDs from Europe), if you're not in a PAL region to begin with.

...or play in 4-player mode without an additional USB multitap due to the fact that there are only 2 USB ports.

...or connect to a high-speed network for the purpose of online gaming or software downloads, because, though the PSN is free, it's pretty slow.

...or come with high-quality and well-regarded customer service -- allegedly; to be fair my experience with Sony's support in general has been very good but I've heard one too many horror stories, and my own experiences were more with a repair technician coming in to service one of my roommate's Vaio laptops, and not had much experience with any PS3 service issues personally.

I suppose we could even get into more pedantic arguments about "everything" such as fellating the user or cooking breakfast being part of the services it performs, as well, but that would honestly be silly and not to the point of the article anyway.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Do One Thing

Recently the college campus announced an initiative/green campaign they're calling "Do One Thing" (DOT). The idea is to think of one thing that you can do that will have a positive impact on resource consumption and/or the environment in general.

I am happy to say that I am in keeping with policy during my stay on campus. In fact, I've recently come to realize that I enjoy taking long, hot showers and have been doing that for the past couple weeks and will probably do similarly for the rest of my time on campus.

Now, I know what you're thinking, or at least something close to that. "But isn't that something that goes against the policy? It's an activity that's wasteful of our limited reserves of usable fresh water!" you're probably thinking to yourself -- or, if you're particularly livid about this concept, shouting at your computer. This is why I'm happy to announce that my DOT is recycling cans and bottles of soda, which I've been doing since before this campaign began; since it was initiated I've been looking for extraneous conservation efforts that I can phase out.

My next task will be to wash all my laundry twice consecutively, which, in addition to using more water and heat, also keeps some of the few washers and dryers for this housing complex occupied for longer, so other people may have to wait about 80 minutes extra to do their own laundry. We'll also start phasing out keeping leftovers and instead start getting rid of them the same day.

Now, you may think this entirely against the spirit of the policy. To this, I say that one of my roommates went to high school at Philips-Exeter, where they had a recycling competition for things like soda cans. He and his floormates would buy and consume extra soda in order to make sure that they took the top of the list for the recycling, thereby subverting the entire purpose of the recycling competition in the first place.

My point is that we take our can recycling VERY seriously. It's not about iPods or pizza parties any more. No, now it's about personal pride.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Article Writeup: Waitress serving coke

Back in the days I used to write witty summaries of news articles and posted them on forums. Granted, many of them were taken from Fark's database of news articles thus saving me time on searches, but the writeups themselves were mine.

In other news there was a time when I was actually witty.

I decided I'd try to do that again, and see what the results would be. This is what you get.


Usually when I have to decide between butt and shoulder I'm thinking about cuts of meat to barbecue, and when I get coke from a waitress it's very reluctantly due to a lack of ginger ale or root beer syrups. However, this sexual harrassment suit is about both.

Nicole Slama was working as a waitress at an Applebee's in Manhattan on tips. As you'd expect, given Applebee's clientelle -- you know, the poor undereducated people making up "real America" that classy individuals with college educations don't fit in the salad bars alongside -- she was practically losing money on that endeavor. Looking to pay the bills she decided to take a friend's advice and work as a stripper cocktail waitress.

I don't mean to imply that she intended to work as a stripper or anything, but we all know that the back room is the sex and drug room. Or at least we do after reading the article if we're anything like me, staying home on weekend nights and blogging.

But as noted there was a distinct role-reversal and the co-owner of the bar, Gary Malhotra, was offering this waitress coke. And taking it off her butt. Naturally Slama was not interested in this. Not surprisingly she nixed doing it off her breasts as well.

Could you imagine? "Oh, no, I won't let you sniff coke off my ass! Oh yeah, go ahead, just go right off my breasts. I mean, it's not like it's illegal or inappropriately sexual if you do it off my breasts!"

In fact the only reason she had coke taken off her shoulder was that Malhotra was actually able to slide off her tank top strap. If the strap was thin enough, I probably wouldn't have bothered though as there's plenty of uncovered shoulder real-estate to play with. Then again I probably wouldn't have bothered with this in the first place because I wouldn't be reducing my waitstaff to a series of secondary sexual characteristics that serve as a conveyance for addictive substances. I'd at least find out their names, get some idea of their likes and dislikes, you know, stuff like that.

So she was on the verge of crying and he's there doing coke off his shoulder. The only reason she didn't is because she was afraid she'd anger him. I don't at all intend to imply that what she's doing is wrong, but a part of me can't help but feel the dude probably found the fact that he's being served with a sexual harassment suit far, far more infuriating. Of course, she also wasn't being forced into a closet when she did that.


As you can see, I'm rather rusty at this. I promise I'm much nicer in real life than I sound here